This one is for the ladies that are forever wondering wat it actually is that they are doing wrong and why their relationships fall apart even tho they are doing their very best... well let me share my rant and rave
Firstly you more than likely did nothing wrong...... i feel lyk i hav the authority to say this as this very occurence happened to me two days ago and i found myself in a heap on my bedroom floor...crying. might i add... AND IN FACT,as i thought more about the situation that i was in ..i began to seeth wif rage : it popped into my head " WAIT a fukin minute ..what am i apologising for doin".. in the the next half an hour i couldnt acutally summarise a decent paragraph or 5 bullet points worth of reasons for an apology.
The next day came, and the anger grew over me again. I drew the conclusion that i have more of a reason to be angry then said person does.
Secondly , DONT TRY AND PROVIDE EXCUSES, that night i provided MANY excuses for him calling myself all kinds of horrific names!. dont waste your time doing this like i did. I do actually understand that u really still want to be with said person and that u are willing to do wt it takes. i also understand the feeling of " if i get angry it might backfire!".. becuase this also wavered across my train of thought and once again i sat for half an hour thinking. if said person makes NO effort than they OBVIOUSLY dont care, and i WOULD NOT advise the hasty approach and break up with said person, because this stands a chance of a backfire (an extremely explosive backfire) .. simply wait .. in this whole "game" waiting is the best thing you can do.. and all this fukin bullshit about break up wf him first so u can say u did it.. is the fattest load of frogs bullocks i have ever heard... LET HIM BREAK UP WIF YOU and then at least you can say.... i havent done anything wrong.... he was a prick for breaking up wif me for NO REASON lol .. let him have the "upper hand" if it means you have the moral high ground !!
THIRDLY ..it will do you well to have a good memory in these harsh times of trials and tribulation , throughout the many heartaches that u will go through in life this skill of rememberance will act as a shield to any oncoming obstacles and hypocritical statements that may come your way... for example; ,, i recall that half of the information i heard about MY OWN LIFE came from other various sources all of which stemed frm his " closest" pals ....
1) REMEMBER THOSE THAT TELL YOU INFORMATION so that wen it comes to naming names you can sing lyk a canary
also ..remember specific times or dates if you prefer, wen ur nearest and dearest has shown floors in his character and faults,, thus protecting you from any that he may try and collect against you to substaniate his reason for the break up! DO NOT start using these against him at first ..onli use these if you feel lyk u hav to defend yourself and if u can see he is doing a shit job of makin up an excuse .. come back twice as hard and darlin ... your still in the right !
2) REMEMBER HOLES IN STORIES AND THINGS THAT DO NOT ADD UP , this will help you wif quick and sharp comebacks wen he decides to turn nasty (THIS TIME MAY NEVER COME ) bt the best defence is a great offence!!
If this time does never come, and sed person does actually mean wat he said and hes feelings are actaully genuine then TALK TO HIM dont try and be clever by starting up again that is one of the last things you need!
3) BE NICE .. onli ever turn nasty if he does .. never attack onli ever defend no matter how much you feel lyk a mug. you may be angry ..and I FUKIN WAS ASWELL ... but i then came to realise the fact that he probably has NO IDEAAAA that i kno half of the things that i do know is GOOD and half the fun is keepin it all secret until the almighty explosion wen you enialate him and all his defences !!!!!!!
... DONT BE FOOLED ... most people think yeahh i wuld lyk to keep it wif as least people as possible and rightly so as most people know that most stories and rumours nowa days get twisted .. HOWEVER it is always good to hav one of his friends close at hand if you need it .. FOR EXAMPLE i had this guy on my msn whom was one of my boyfriends closest friends.. and he was my STRONGEST WEAPON ... as u slowly but surely make this guy feel sorry for you (and u know that OBVIOUSLY he will go and tell ur bf wt u hav sed) , remember all of wt this guy has sed... most bois ..wen they tell their friends about girls they expect them to keep it to themselves.. bt as i made this guy feel sorry for me i found him tellin me information to try and " help me out "... bless this guy he actually thought he was doing good.. but OH NO he was making my side stronger.. this again is for wen everything comes on top... ...
boyfriend : yhh so i wana break up wif u
YOU: OH really well you need to watch wat u say to your so called "friends" bcos they very slyly hav BIG mouths ..somehow everyfin you told them was relayed to me before you told me..thus informin me of your plans two days before hand.. so now i'm prepared and its wateva !
boyfriend : ** pissed**
if you have just read that and do not understand how that works then think of it like this .. how wuld u feel if u was about to break up wif someone and they told u that your best friend had alreadyyyyyyy told them about ur plans ... therefore enabling them to prepare themselves and get over the upset .. PISSED
ppl say to me all the time .. rachael ! dont let ppl and him no that you are upset... NOOOO THIS IS EXACTLY WT U SHULD DO ... lol .. the more he thinks you are upset .. the more he'll either feel guilty (doubt it but stl a possiblitly) orrrr the more he'll feel lyk he has power .. LOL this is a fabulous position to be in ..because he thinks he has got you righttttttttttt where he wants you .. BUT NO ... lol wen he tries to come at you wif the patronising phrases and the lies (more importantly) .. you can quickly snap back .. (not rudely)..but just enough to let him kno that YOU ARE NOT AN IDIOT AND YOU ARE NOT THAT CRUSHED TO BE TAKING BULLSHIT !! ..HE WILL BUCK UP HIS IDEAS AND RE EVALUATE HIS HYPOTHESIS!!!!
another keyyy point in this .. MSN ..msn can make or break u .. lol .. first of all dont try and b immature by changin your screen names to the " breaking heart" AKA bullocks ... orr secret subliminal messages thats jus bullshit ... wt u do is simply observe ! dont be tooo over eager by constantly talkin to the guy that just dumped you.. the more you leave and observe the more you'll notice his cry for attention.. lol classic sign : signing in and out again and again and again ! .... he is tryin to make you remember him and remind you of him and its PATHETIC bcos this ..instead of remindin me.. just repulsed me and i was thinkin " just piss off "..
4) DO NOT TRY AND MISLEAD PPL ON MSN ..it never ever ever works : i dont kno if ppl hav realised bt msn is dangerous ppl can quote your exact words ..and they can save conversations so ..if you end up gettin into a web of lies and tryin to mislead ppl ..then you may find urself being bombarded wif things that you hav sed to other ppl ... and you will look stupid...you'll be a hypocrite
HOWEVER there is nooo harm in doin this to other people and especially your bf like i hav probably sed already .. dont hesitate to pull out SOLID ( and i mean undebateable ) quotes on him if he starts to try and quote u .. lol .. wen i say solid i mean it ..there is nufin worse than not being able to remember a quote and then lookin lyk a fool wen u've been corrected ... bad times!! ..so dont get urself in that position!!
... to be continueddd...............