maria w (maria_west) wrote in i_hate_my_ex,
maria w

I'm done with this shit

I don't really know if I hate my ex or not, but god knows I fucking should. He's the saddest, meanest, most mentally ill person I've ever met. Officially, we were together for a little short of a year and broke up somewhat 8 - 10 months ago (read: I broke up with him), but for some reason we've been friends for all this time and I occasionally spend (or spent) the night as his place (with however no, or a minimal amount of fooling around, since I kinda find him repulsive in that way). All the way from when he started to suspect I wasn't happy with him to this date, he has been verbally abusive, and telling his friends my intimate secrets. When I got angry at him for talking about my private stuff to his friends, he said he hadn't realised he wasn't supposed to talk about it. Sadly enough, I actually almost believe him, after all he's such a crazy, psychotic fucktard that doesn't really realize those kind of things. He has called my mother a whore in front of my friend (who is a guy that I've been in love with for quite a while but only once, a long time ago, acted on it. My ex and this guy hate each other, obviously.) and almost daily he blackmouths my parents for being racist (which they are not ) or otherwise stupid. He constantly makes me feel stupid and ugly and bad about myself by saying shit like "what the fuck are you doing you retard bitch, you can't leave your shoes there" on any and every possible and impossible occassion. He also talks shit about my friends, calls them ugly or stupid or whatever, and messes their friendships up by sleeping with one of them and having her tell lies about their relatioship, which of course irritates the person who's been lied to, who happens to me my best girlfriend. I've been taking this shit for all these months, almost a fucking year now, and I'm fucking through with it. I will not have my friends getting all messed up because of him, I will not have my family blackmouthed by him, I will not have my secrets spread all over the town, I will not have my self esteem being tramped down by anyone. He calls me retard and helpless for living with my parents (I'm 20 years old and waiting for replies from universities so I get to know which city I'll be living in) and he himself is fucking 24 years old and has had his mom (who lives on the other side of the town) do his laundry up until last year, and makes his mom give him money so he can get wasted all alone in his amphetamine -addictish overcleaned apartment, and also, he has his mom give him a ride home at 4 or 5 a.m cause he's too "independent and relaxed" to check his buss schedules. The truth is he's just too much of a psychopathic asshole to realise other people have feelings, too, and that the world doesn't necessarily go around his fucking finger. And here's the punchline: he gave me a call threatening me that if I wouldn't do as he says (which I still don't know what it was) he'll tell some more of my secrets to the girl (a friend of my friend) he's banging and oooh boy those secrets will spread fast and everyone will know everything. I've fucking had my share of him. I'd gladly toss him over to his new fuckbuddy but gosh, I wouldn't wish that for my worst fucking enemy. Now that I've wrote all this and read it through, I've come to the conclusion that yes, i fucking hate my ex.
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